You don’t have to be pretty

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For two weeks, I have been seeing blog posts about hairstyles, make-up and fashion. It seems like it is girls’ life goal to be pretty. Girls always look for tips and advice how to be desirable and fashionable. What if I say that it is not necessary to be beautiful? Erin McKean, an American lexicographer and blogger once said, “You Don’t Have to Be Pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’.” I have always been told by my mother that I have to be pretty, nice, beautiful, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera because I am a girl, because people should be admired when looking at me. I have never understood why I should be pretty for anyone to admire me. I always said that nobody is worth my effort to see me pretty. It is not a duty to be pretty. Instead, you can just be different. Differently beautiful. You can for example be like Tilda Swinton.

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She is extremely different and “not pretty”. But, she is quite charming to me. It is better to be like her than be a copy-paste of Beyonce, Rihanna and some other celebrity. In fact, she is better than this. It is the time to change the criteria for beauty. I see girls every day with “huge layers” of make-up on their faces. Seriously, isn’t it heavy? You might say, “Oh, she is talking this way, because her hair are always messy, she always wears that hat to cover her messy hair. She doesn’t wear make-up. She isn’t pretty.” The thing is I feel comfortable this way. I feel comfortable wearing that hat because it gives me a sense of safety and besides I think it suits me. So, do whatever is comfortable to you, not as a duty to others, but as a duty to yourself. If you feel comfortable being the pretty I described above, then be like that. It is your choice. Finally, remember, that intelligence is what makes you desirable and sexy, not the appearance.

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