“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” ― John Keats
Have you ever had this feeling when everything stopped making sense? People falling madly in love with each other stopped to make sense. The leaves blowing in a harsh wind stopped to make sense. The precious sound of messaging on your fancy technologies stopped to make sense. You bought flowers and put them in your room, but the smell stopped to make sense. You started to wonder whether there is any purpose for your existence, you doubted life, you lost hope but you kept walking for no reason.
Probably every sensible human being in this world feels the alienation of his own feelings at least once in his/her life. One day people come to believe that the life they lived was not real, the people whom they devoted their inmost feelings were not worth it, the sacrifices they made to satisfy this or that person were not reasonable. One day we all come to realize there is something we miss, something we are unaware of.
We lose our consciousness, we do not know how to form our questions, we do not know how to share the feelings that we hardly feel but we have the urge to talk. We take a good book in our hands and dig deep through the pages to find quotes that will talk instead of us. We make a pandemonium out of a silence and become imperceptible in the clutter.
Throughout centuries people named similar feelings differently: melancholy, depression, existential crisis and why not, even melancholic depression. Scientists and doctors found out ways to cure the illness, while the more romantic ones saw beauty in it. While we fear to be sorrowful, some people find power in it, some create and some blossom. Our consciousness gives us the chance to take control over our feelings and to control our pulses. When someone knocks the door we decide to either open it or not. When the rain pelts down cruelly, we decide to either take out our umbrellas or run desperately. When our hearts glow from happiness, we are the ones to cramp our facial muscles for a smile. When despair surrounds us, it is no one else but us who decides to either take it as a chance of self-disclosure or self-destruction.