In this blog I want to talk about the feeling of guilt. I have chosen exactly this topic because I am very emotional person and this theme is very important to me. There is no any person that has never felt guilty. We all have had this feeling sometimes: our friends, parents, grandparents, teachers etc. This article will be interesting to those people who often feel guilty where they can not be to blame. I want to say that I am also among this kind of people.
Well, lets start from the causes of this feeling. There are 3 causes: Clinical depression, Psychological trauma,Low self-esteem. When determining the reason, the getting rid of this feeling will be much easier.
So, here are some solutions and advice to this issue.
Analyze every situation in which you feel guilty. Every situation where you can have a feeling of guilt requires serious analysis. It is desirable to write down all your reflections in a notebook. Understand what your role in the situation is, how you might act, how you acted, what has changed, what is up to you and so on. Determine the role of other characters, try to stand in their place and understand what they feel. Think about why you feel guilty and whether this is really so or not. Perhaps in order to find answers to these questions you will need an outside observer of the situation, because it is difficult to come to objective and unbiased conclusions. In a few days, read your records and conduct a second analysis in the situation.
In opposition to the blames to yourself, find an evidence of your innocence. For example, you think that you do too little for your friends that you spend too little time with them. Try to remember when the last time you talked, met, when the last time you gave each other gifts and compliments. Carry with you always a list of small (or large) amenities that you do for them. When the feeling of guilt begins to worsen, read the list.
- Appreciate all that you do.
Get a new ritual for yourself: record every day 3-5 useful cases that were committed on that day or a list of your achievements. If the feeling of guilt arises from low self-esteem, then this advice will help you to improve it and become more self-confident! You do not need to keep such lists, the whole point is that you sum up and see how much good things have happened today. If you are prone to perfectionism and will save lists, then sooner or later you will start to compare them, and the result of comparison can be far from positive.
Talk to the person who is the main object of your guilt. Perhaps your feeling is just a figment of your imagination and has nothing to do with the reality. Such a conversation can be a useful point in the fight against a sense of guilt!
I hope that if you are in this kind of situation, these points will help you to find a solution to the issue)